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Auntie Fee’s Kitchen Rules

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If the name Auntie Fee means nothing to you, then Muthaf***er, where have you been?

Auntie Fee

Auntie Fee

 

As someone who enjoys cooking shows, I am totally blown away by the latest hot, new chef on the cooking scene, who’s most definitely stirring things up in the kitchen. Based in South-Central LA,  her cooking methods are a little unorthodox; she doesn’t use ingredients that you need to order online; she’s not too fussed about presentation, and she’s got a mouth to rival Gordon Ramsay’s. Her video clips which she posts on YouTube have gone viral and I’m wondering how long it’ll be before she gets her own show. I’m talking about new American cook, Auntie Fee, also known as Chef Sista Girl.

Two weeks ago, I hadn’t even heard of Auntie Fee, real name Felicia O’Dell. But now the latest cooking sensation has the world in stitches with her culinary antics and expletive- laden commentary, all filmed by her son Tavis Hunter who acts as cameraman – and often gets an ear-bashing from his mum due to what she perceives to be annoying questions, unhelpful input and dodgy camera work. If you’re looking for the genteelness of Delia, the seductive charms of Nigella, or the perfection of Martha – forget it because as the name of her Facebook page states, Aunty Fee Keeping It Muthaf***ing Real In The Kitchen, Muthaf***er!

 

Auntie Fee's son and cameraman, Tavis

Auntie Fee’s son and cameraman, Tavis

 

Auntie Fee’s choice of language is most definitely a little on the colourful side – and that’s putting it mildly – so she’s probably not going to be a hit with those who are easily shocked or offended. However, most people evidently think she’s awesome, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a TV chef so entertaining since Nancy Lam and her henpecked hubby, Ben.

The first time I happened to stumble across one of her video clips, where she made ‘something sweet for the f***ing kids,’ I watched it three times consecutively and howled with laughter. In fact my laughter could be heard all the way in South Carolina (Mr.D was Skyping his bestie at the time!) At that time there was very little info available about Auntie Fee, but she did have a Facebook page which at the time of liking, had less than ten likes – now there are thousands! Talk-show hosts have been clamouring to get her on their show, but even though Auntie Fee was allegedly holding out for Oprah, she did make an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live via Skype – and we got to see Tavis for the first time – last weekend, where she made a five minute meal using shrimp and garlic bread – and as expected she brought the house down!

My friends and I cannot get enough of Auntie Fee and her antics, and as annoying as it may be for some people, we quote her on a regular basis. Forget literary figures and noble statesmen, this cooking sensation has some real gems. We’ve watched her prepare raisin turnovers, egg rolls, chicken wings, a noodle soup dish, and a strawberry shortcake. A lot of Auntie Fee’s cooking is aimed at families on a budget or people who don’t have a lot of time to spend in the kitchen. Admittedly, it’s not the healthiest of food and doesn’t always look appealing (sorry Auntie Fee!) If you think Delia got a lot of stick for preparing food with her rings on, wait until you see how Auntie Fee seasons her chicken wings – not for the faint-hearted! And Auntie Fee is well aware of the criticism regarding her levels of hygiene and makes defiant references to it during her clips.

 

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But whatever you may think of her recipes, one thing’s for damn sure: Auntie Fee is a breath of fresh air in an industry where some chefs take themselves – and food – way, way, waaay too seriously. Auntie Fee may be at the other end of the spectrum but she is hilarious with it, and I for one cannot wait to see what else is on the menu.

Someone give this lady and her son their own show!

CLASSIC AUNTIE FEE QUOTES

1. “I don’t know what the f*** this is. It’s just something sweet for the f***ing kids.” – When asked what she was making.
2. “Muthaf***er, this is not no prison food.” -After Tavis cheekily asks if what’s she’s making is like prison food.
3. “I need to get me a f***ing cameraman cos you trippin’.” – Getting annoyed with Tavis’s questions.
4. “Goddamn it, I ain’t got no muthaf***ing name for it yet, muthaf***er!” – Just before she named the sweet treats ‘raisin turnovers.
5. “I don’t give a damn whether they broke or not. You smash ’em out how you wanna smash ’em out.” – Clearly not one for following instructions.
6. “This muthaf***er make any f***ing thang taste good!” – On dried parsley.
7. “Cook it for three hours if you want it to fall off the muthaf***ing bone. I swear this s**t will.” – On cooking chicken wings.
8. Aunty Fee: “I meant to say that you was my assistant. But instead I said you was my informant.”
Tavis: “Yeah, don’t ever say that again.”
9. “We had it for dinner last night. I don’t know where your fat ass was.” – To Tavis.
10. Tavis: “So this like the ghetto way of doing things.”
Aunty Fee: “We don’t talk ghetto okay? I’m not ghetto.”
11. “Oh but that Jimmy Kimble, Jimmy Kimmy, what’s his name? Jammy Kimmy…” – Unable to say Jimmy Kimmel’s name.
12. “You got an old Crisco can by your sink, then you a mutherf***ing G.”
13. “Now I can wet this with my hands if I want to, because this is my mutherf***ing shit.” – On sealing pastry edges.
14. “Tavis the camera better be on me. We only got one shot at this.” – Appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
15. “Say something so I know we communicating!” – To Jimmy Kimmel

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Tara: A Seriously Cool Cat

 

Admittedly I have a weird relationship with animals. Never having grown up surrounded by pets at home for a number of reasons – OK, not entirely true, we got a tankful of fish a few years before I moved out – I am a little apprehensive about them. Then there are my million and one allergies which means sharing a home with a pet is unlikely. But I do think some of them are so cute. I absolutely adore the pets in the family (and think they might like me too!) but I do know that keeping animals at home is a big commitment – a lot like having children. They need a great deal of care, time and affection and it’s not a decision to be taken likely. After all a dog is for life and all that.

However, like most people worldwide, I have just witnessed the most adorable piece of CCTV kitty footage which has made me see having pets in a whole new light. I am of course talking about Tara, the latest feline online phenomenon, and  a cat superhero if ever there was one. It’s made me realise that perhaps no household is really complete without an adorable pet.

American couple, Roger and Erica Triantafilo’s tabby cat Tara, sprang into action when she saw her owners’ four year old son Jeremy, getting dragged off his bike and attacked by the neighbours’ dog as he played outside his home in Bakersfield, California.

Images recorded on three CCTV cameras witness Tara not only launching herself at the dog but also chasing him away from the house while Jeremy’s mother ran to tend to her injured son. For a little kitty, Tara seemed more ferocious than the dog.

 

 

The astounding footage was uploaded the next day and has gone viral with the world hailing this brave little cat a heroine. I wonder if Tara is aware of all the attention she has attracted and of her newfound celebrity status. In fact it was reported an hour ago that  minor league baseball team, Bakersfield Blaze, have invited Tara to throw the first pitch at their next home game! Go Tara!

The famous feline cannot be spoken of highly enough by her family. “Tara is my hero,” Jeremy simply stated, while his father explained, “She really did save him from further injury… I’ve never seen a cat do that. Especially ours. It just shows how much she really has a family-oriented mind set.” Roger Triantafilo also added that Tara will rightfully get fish for the rest of her life, “grilled any way she wants!”

What’s just as amazing is the way in which Tara became a member of the family which is a story in itself. She was a stray cat who had followed a courting Roger and Erica as they made their way home from the park after a date – before they got married. They made a deal that if she followed them all the way home, they would keep her. She did so they did! That was six years ago and she even bonded with Jeremy soon after he was born which explains why she is so protective of him.

The dog that attacked Jeremy, a Labrador-chow mix, has been quarantined and will soon be put down. Erica Triantafilo has stated that they do not feel any anger towards their neighbours and that she is thankful that her son’s injuries – for which the little boy had to get stitches – were not worse than what he sustained.

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But right now, the spotlight is well and truly on Tara who is the poster girl for cats everywhere. Not only does the whole world want to give her a cuddle and households everywhere want to adopt a kitty, but the fabulous feline has proved that there really is no such thing as a scaredy cat!

The most heart-warming story I’ve heard in a long time. Hope Jeremy makes a full recovery… and Tara gets her fish!

 

 

 

 

 

Would You Mind Asking Your Bag To Stand Please?

 

 

Even though I’m known for being quite mild mannered, there are certain things in life that make my blood boil. One of them are the selfish passengers on buses and trains who feel that their bags – and in some cases coats, scarves, and feet – need a well deserved sit down at the expense of other commuters.

It’s even worse on buses where I find people tend to sit on the outer seats, which already indicates that they do not want anyone sitting beside them. If they have personal belongings, this will then be put on the seat next to the window. I understand that sometimes people prefer to sit on the outer seats because it’s easier to get up and leave when they arrive at their stop. But the fact that they’ve seen all these people standing and are still not indicating that there is a free seat beside them only tells me that they wish to have two seats all to themselves, which is just plain mean and selfish. I’ve even seen elderly people standing while someone with absolutely no manners occupies two seats.

How many times have I seen people place a dinky little handbag or gift bag on a seat as though the bag is so heavy that they cannot possibly sit with it on their lap or that it’s so huge that they cannot rest it on the floor? Worse are the ones with scrambled eggs for brains who on a packed bus or train will spot an available seat and then put their bag on it while they stand! Don’t they realise they’d be saving a little more space if they just sat down – or allowed someone else to sit down? I sometimes feel like asking if their bag has it’s own Oyster card.

It’s just another indication of just how far society has regressed. We live in what is very much a ‘me, me, me’ society. People only seem to think about themselves and what is convenient or suitable for them. Consideration, courtesy and concern for other people went out of the window a long time ago. It’s sad but true. Confronting such people about their selfish behaviour isn’t an option either as this just leads to a very public and very heated exchange which often ends up on YouTube as no one likes to admit that they’re at fault – even if everyone else can see that they are.

I’ll be getting on the bus today… and no doubt there’ll be at least one person who will make me see red. And I don’t mean the bus!

 

 

 

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