I usually like to keep everything very lighthearted at Chez Mrs. D but life can’t always be fun and games – not when there’s an important topic to be discussed.
Like almost everyone, I abhor all forms of abuse against another human being (yes and animals too!) but there’s something about narcissistic abuse that really hits a nerve with me. It’s because narcissistic abuse is something that has affected me personally. It’s because it has affected people I care about. It’s the reason why one of my schoolmates is no longer with us and why another one has serious emotional health issues. This is not a club I ever wanted to belong to but I found myself becoming a member without even realising what I was signing up to – which is quite often the case with people who have endured narcissistic abuse. And even though some of the emotional scars still remain, I’m definitely one of the lucky ones.
World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day
June 1st 2018 (tomorrow) marks World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day (WNAAD) an internationally recognized event that raises awareness of narcissistic abuse as well as providing education and resources for survivors. WNAAD was established in 2016 and now occurs on June 1st every year. It may only be two years old but WNAAD is a growing global movement and is committed to raising awareness of narcissistic abuse, and provides education, resources for survivors, and wants to take steps towards a change in policy.
Survivor Empowerment Telesummit 2018
An important part of World Narcissist Abuse Awareness Day in order to highlight the problem and raise the profile of narcissistic abuse is the commencement of a two day online summit, The Survivor Empowerment Telesummit 2018 where seventeen speakers – mental health practitioners and leading industry experts – will be giving advice and sharing insights.
What is narcissistic abuse?
Many people are still a little confused as to what exactly narcissistic abuse is. I plan to write a longer, more informative post on the subject but simply put it’s a form of psychological and emotional abuse. Unlike physical abuse which leaves visible cuts, bruises and broken bones, victims of any kind of emotional abuse wear their wounds on the inside – mentally and emotionally, hence why WNAAD came up with the hashtag, #IfMyWoundsWereVisible. That’s not to say that the abuse can’t later become physical but many of the abusers are often too clever, too charming and too subtle for that. Many people suffering from narcissistic abuse don’t even realise that what’s happening to them is a legitimate form of abuse. Somewhere down the line they may realise that something doesn’t feel right but can’t quite explain what and why. Family and friends will notice that something’s wrong but not know what it is or even how to help. For those of us who have endured narcissisitic abuse, we know just how awful, confusing and scary it is.
Why is it necessary to raise awareness of narcissistic abuse?
Narcissistic abuse is a problem that goes by undetected until it’s usually too late – but the epidemic of narcissistic abuse is escalating and I’ve seen that just with the people around me. But sadly there isn’t much in the way of education, campaign or funding to tackle this subject. According to the WNAAD website, studies indicate that between 1% and 6% of the population suffer from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and that’s just narcissists alone – this statistic does not include the other cluster B disorders. It is estimated that in a lifetime, each individual suffering from NPD will have relationships with approximately five partners, thus highlighting the enormity and grave impact of this abuse. But although we know the number of people affected by NPD in one way or another is huge, it is difficult to calculate a near enough exact number. One thing that people often forget is that the narcissist isn’t always a partner: it could be a parent, child, or other family member, friend, housemate, or colleague – in short, it could be anyone.
Because the issue of narcissistic abuse is one that’s very close to my heart, I’m delighted that people are now talking about it and awareness is being raised because it gives the narcissist less place to hide and hopefully they’ll never cause pain or mental anguish to another human being again.
For those of you who are interested in the Survivor Empowerment Telesummit and wish to register you can do so at http://www.wnaad.com
Well I promised you there’d be a series dedicated to living better, healthier, happier and easier at Chez Mrs. D. – so here it is! Welcome to the very first post.
I’ve known for a while that I am not doing myself and my overall wellbeing any favours. I don’t always eat the right food; I start every morning with a cup of coffee; I go to bed way too late and feel tired every morning hence the coffee; working out is a thing of the past; there are nights I go to bed with my make up on; I don’t drink enough water; I can be grouchy and overemotional (poor Mr. D!) my organisation skills are dreadful which means I’m often behind schedule… the list goes on.
But I know that I have no desire to want to stay this way forever. I want to have bags of energy rather than bags under my eyes; I want to spend more time with the people who matter instead of catching up on chores; I’d like to further explore and develop my spiritual side; I want to achieve my dream of better skin to the point where I can go make-up free (a girl can dream) I want to embrace my unruly mop of hair and not feel as though I have to style, re-style and style it again; I need to get more sleep; have more ‘me’ time; achieve goals; stop semi-completing everything; laugh louder than I already do; be healthier and fitter; appreciate the little things in life and stop sweating the small stuff; devote more time to great relationships – and ditch the ones that don’t work; and make sure that my already fabulous marriage just gets better and better each day… and again the list goes on!
What makes the Better Living series different to the rest of the blog is that it is dedicated to improving every aspect of your life and wellbeing:
- physical – heath; fitness; exercise; healthy eating; skin and hair care.
- emotional – balancing moods; mental well being; resolving problems; sleeping better; overcoming anxiety.
- spiritual – meditation; alternative therapies; finding inner peace; spiritual beliefs; giving meaning and purpose to our lives.
- occupational – job satisfaction; overcoming conflict; improving work conditions; happier working life; developing your career.
- social – relationships with family; friends; colleagues and partners; being part of a community; interacting with others.
- environmental – being green; using environmentally-friendly products; less wastefulness.
- intellectual – seeking new challenges; improving skills; fully experiencing life; expanding knowledge; opening up to new ideas.
There will be real life stories, case studies, practical advice, tips from the experts, and you can keep up to date with my progress as I aim to live better!
Better Living is here everyone. Enjoy!
Mrs. D is pleased to announce that the Better Living blog series will b starting soon so if any of you have an interest in healthy eating, physical exercise, meditation, skin care, personal development and just general well-being, than this is a series you won’t want to miss!
It’s been my intention for quite some time to take much better care of myself: boost energy levels; exercise more; worry less; cut down on caffeine; ditch the junk food; not sleep with my make up on – in fact get more sleep full stop! The list of things I need to do goes on. For someone who used to work in management at a branch of a leading chain of health food stores in the UK, I’m really not practicing what I used to preach.
During this series, I will be giving up – or at least cutting down on the bad stuff and looking for suitable alternatives where possible, while trying to incorporate more of the good stuff into my day-to-day life. I will also be looking at ways to save time, eliminate stress and try to find various methods, remedies and solutions to problems as well as getting advice from those in the know… and so much more. I can’t wait!
Of course, I’m never going to be a candidate for good, clean, healthy living sainthood and you can bet your life I’ll still indulge in the odd take away; a good few glasses of the strong stuff and a few very- late- very- good nights out. Should I stress about that? No. Part of healthy living is not to deprive yourself and get overly obsessed about things. Everything in moderation and you can’t go wrong. In my book at least!
And as I’m sharing this journey of the mind, body and spirit with all of you, I’ve got no choice but to try harder. Healthy mind, healthy body starts here!