In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Kick the Bucket.”
In the last few years, the world has gone bucket list mad – including me! There’s tons of things we all hope to do before we ‘kick the bucket’.
I’ve always been a bit of a bucket list girl and I’ve already managed to tick quite a few things off my list including being front row at a concert; visiting certain countries; going to a New Kids On The Block concert; finding my dream job, and marrying the love of my life.
But there’s still plenty of things that I haven’t done and am still waiting to tick more off my list, such as spending NYE in Time’s Square; writing a book; becoming a really good baker and confectioner; reading the entire Bible, and becoming fluent in another language… and many, many more! In fact I don’t think I’ll ever have a completely crossed-off list as I keep adding to it.
But the thought of an anti-bucket list had never occurred to me until I saw The Daily Post’s writing prompt, and it got me thinking about things I would never in a million years want to do, want to have, or want to go to!
So here’s my selection of twenty (that’s right, twenty) things – in no particular order – that complete my anti- bucket list!
1. LEARN TO MAKE QUICHE
I absolutely hate quiche with a passion. If you came to my house for lunch, you can be sure that you won’t be served with this vile savoury tart/flan/whatever you want to call it. Why the rest of the world is quiche crazy, I’ll never know. Even though I want to hone my baking skills, this is one area of baking I don’t feel I need to even bother trying to learn let alone improve upon.
2. BECOME A BIGOT
Obviously no one goes through life intent on becoming a bigot. And even when most people do have an extreme intolerance towards others, they naturally won’t admit to it or even realise how offensive their views are- though you will get a few who don’t feel that there’s anything wrong with having such prejudicial views and will defend these views to the hilt. What they don’t seem to understand is how ignorant they sound.
Going through life with an open mind is so important on many different levels and for so many reasons- at the very least it makes the world a far better place.
3. APPEAR ON THE APPRENTICE
Don’t get me wrong – I love watching The Apprentice and tune in every year to find out who will be Lord Sugar’s new business partner. It’s addictive, and as someone who’s keen to go into business, it is of great interest to me.
There are times I think, fleetingly, about applying to go on the show but I know I never would. The other contestants show way too much arrogance, ruthlessness and attitude, and many of them are nowhere near as good as they claim to be. I really don’t think I could handle so many huge egos under one roof.
I’ll still continue to watch the show though!
4. VOTE UKIP
The media would have you believe that the whole country is full of UKIP supporters even though I know that that’s not necessarily the case. I can see why a lot of people have fallen under the spell of Farage and co. but those who can look at things objectively can see that they clearly lack credibility, so whether they are the flavour of the month or not, I will not be jumping on the bandwagon and be voting UKIP.
And is it just me, or does their logo resemble something similar to a budget supermarket chain?
5. READ FIFTY SHADES OF GREY
It’s meant to have enhanced activity in the boudoir and had women buying the E.L. James novel in droves. Nothing wrong with that of course. However, unlike Christian Grey, I am a hearts and flowers kind of person, so this isn’t a book that will be gracing my bookshelf, and I prefer old-fashioned though slightly corny romance rather than raunchy in your face erotica. Give me Mills and Boon any day!
6. WATCH WHAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE HOT ON BRITISH TV RIGHT NOW
The Only Way Is Essex, Made In Chelsea, Big Brother, The X Factor, Strictly Come Dancing, I’m A Celebrity… these might constitute compulsive viewing at the moment but quite frankly I find it all quite boring. I used to watch shows like these a long time ago but then it started to lose a bit of its gloss and I just gave up. However, I can’t escape these shows entirely because the ‘stars’ are always in the media. Even though I can’t profess to be a National Geographic kind of girl, this sort of telly really isn’t for me either.
7. BABYSIT A SPOILT CHILD
I like children as much as the next person but when it comes to children who lack discipline, don’t know the meaning of the word no, and think that all adults should do as they’re told (by them)… forget it! I once had the misfortune of babysitting a child (and not just any child, but a relative!) who was a complete and utter nightmare but clearly thought that his behaviour was cute. And when his mum was told about his behaviour, she clearly couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about.
I think it takes a special kind of person to be able to handle a spoilt child. I’m obviously not one of them.
8. BECOME ADDICTED TO TECHNOLOGY
There’s no denying that we’re in the digital age and we all use technology to some degree. But to become addicted to gadgets to the point where it overrides common sense and courtesy is unacceptable. I really don’t wish to be that kind of person.
9. APPEAR ON MASTERCHEF USA
Once again, Masterchef USA is a show Mr. D and I tune into religiously every year, and we’ve actually picked up a few tips from this cooking competition. However, I would never want to be a contestant on this show, even if I did live in The States, because Gordon Ramsay and Joe Bastianich could very easily reduce me to tears and turn me into a nervous wreck. No thank you!
10. ATTEMPT TIGHTROPE WALKING
There are a lot of adrenaline junkies out there but I’m not one of them and heights are not my thing, so you won’t see me on a tightrope anytime soon.
11. SWIM IN SHARK INFESTED WATERS
As I’ve said I’m not an adrenaline junkie and clearly do not have a sense of adventure, so once again not for me.
12. RETURN TO WORKING IN RETAIL
Before anyone accuses me of putting down people who work in the retail sector, let me explain. I spent more years than I care to think about working in retail, so I have a lot of respect for those who work in retail because I know how tough it can be – especially at this time of the year.
In theory, it should all go swimmingly. After all it’s not the worst job in the world; you get to meet people every day; and there are some exceptionally enjoyable perks i.e.- going to trade shows, generous staff discounts etc.
However in practice I’ve found it incredibly draining. Dealing with the general public is not easy. Dealing with those in head office is even harder. Sometimes your colleagues don’t understand the importance of working as part of a team. And let’s not forget with more and more stores open for longer hours and seven days a week, it leaves you with little time for yourself, family and friends. I still like the idea of owning a shop of some kind but I doubt I’ll ever do it as I found it incredibly draining.
13. WORK FOR A NATIONAL NEWSPAPER
It was my childhood ambition – until a careers officer said after a consultation that I lacked the ruthlessness and forceful character to be a journo. That and the fact that I didn’t like to pry into other people’s business!
Yep, I think I’m better suited to teaching English!
14. HAVE BOTOX
I know I’m getting older and I can see the signs. I don’t look or feel twenty one any more. However, I don’t believe that Botox is the answer – why would I want to inject poison into myself? I don’t believe in putting anything into my body that really shouldn’t be there, so I will fight aging with happy and healthy living.
15. BUY SUPER EXPENSIVE CLOTHES
When I was a teenager I was into labels and brand names as most of my peers were. That didn’t always mean I’d get them though and fast forward several years, I’m very grateful that my parents didn’t give into my every whim. I still love clothes and probably have more than I need but I don’t spend a fortune on each item and love spotting a bargain. I’d hate to spend a grand on a coat and then feel I’d need to wear it for the rest of my natural life and then be buried in it just to get my money’s worth!
16. BECOME A POLITICIAN
Where do I begin???
17. BE PART OF THE IN-CROWD
During the course of my life, I’ve met some exceptionally interesting people who seemed to have it all. They said all the right things, had all the right things, looked the right way, surrounded themselves with all the right people and were seen in all the right places. In a nutshell, they were the in-crowd.
The only thing is that their hearts weren’t often in the right place and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realised what’s important.
18. TO WATCH ANY MOVIE THAT’S BOUND TO LEAVE ME TRAUMATIZED
Twelve Years A Slave and The Passion Of The Christ are out as interesting and as fascinating as they are, when I watch a film, I want to be entertained not left feeling depressed.
19. OWN A FLASHY CAR
We’d all like a flashy car parked on our drive but I can’t help thinking what a waste of money it is. Unlike houses, the value of a car generally tends to go down not up. So I think I’ll invest my money in bricks and mortar, thank you.
20. RIDE A BIKE AROUND LONDON
I am most definitely not hot on two wheels at the best of times but riding around London with its super busy streets which I don’t believe is really ideal for cyclists… I’ll give it a miss. I’ve heard a great deal about accidents on our roads and even been at the scene of one, and my heart really goes out to those who have been hurt or worse. And I take my hat of to those who are far braver than me and are willing to have a go.
What’s on your anti-bucket list?
Mr. D and I are so disappointed now that our favourite culinary competition -Masterchef USA – is over but what a fantastic finale it was. We knew it was going to be close as the two culinary hopefuls Luca Manfe and Natasha Crnjac battled it out for the top prize.
But we are thrilled, thrilled, THRILLED that Luca has been crowned Masterchef 2013. Out of all the contestants he was the one who had come the furthest. He’d really struggled in the beginning and we weren’t expecting him to go further than a few episodes. But he improved beyond belief and despite his on-going success he never once came across as big-headed, arrogant or cocky – unlike some of his fellow competitors. And who could forget the infamous ‘butter incident’ where Luca very magnanimously gave Jessie a stick of butter. He may not have been taken seriously initially but he did seem like a genuinely nice guy who was passionate about food; keeping his Italian heritage alive through his cooking, and his dream to start up his own restaurant. This was Luca’s second attempt at trying to compete in Masterchef and as the weeks went by and he started to progress at an astounding speed and level, it was quite clear that this guy didn’t just have passion – he had culinary talent too. We hoped Luca would win, but with so many big, forceful characters who were equally skilled and fighting to be noticed, we weren’t sure if the mild-mannered New York-based Italian stood a chance.
The finale kicked off with an emotional start as the two contestants were reunited with their family and friends, including Luca’s sister and father who flew in from Italy – and yes, I did get a little weepy! But then sentimentality was put aside as Natasha and Luca had to prepare a three course meal for the Masterchef judges, Gordon Ramsay, Graham Elliott and Joe Bastianich. This is where the excitement began and there were more twists and turns than at a breakdancing competition: The judges loved Natasha’s food… no the judges loved Luca’s food… Luca has a near melt-down as he realises he has forgotten to strain the panna cotta… Natasha ditches half of her dessert when she sees it hasn’t set right… Krissy and Natasha have a last war of words… the judges very nearly declare a draw – it was all happening!
It was clear pretty much from the start of the show that Natasha was the favourite to win and it did look as though she had it in the bag. Each of Natasha’s courses were exactly the kind of thing I’d choose for myself if I were dining out and her presentation was faultless. Also no one could doubt her passion, commitment and talent throughout this season where she hardly ever put a foot wrong. She was a well-rounded home cook who could cook almost anything. She had an incredible knowledge of food and a high level of technical ability. Her flavour combinations always hit the spot according to the judges and even when the other contestants made the mistake of underestimating her, she always rose to the challenge and won. Due to her competence and skill, she hardly ever had to face the dreaded pressure test. All this plus her winning menu seemed to indicate that Natasha would be walking out of the Thunderdome kitchen with the Masterchef title. Luca’s menu was as adventurous as Natasha’s was safe and I wondered if it was perhaps a little too much for the judges who expressed concern over Luca’s choices.
Awful as this may sound, we really hoped that Natasha wouldn’t walk away with the grand prize. Why? Because despite all her culinary genius, Natasha came across as the most unlikeable know-it-all with an extremely bad attitude. She hardly ever had a genuine smile on her face and just sulked and pouted when she didn’t get her own way – and she positively hated it when her fellow contestants did better than her. The first time the viewers saw her, she talked about how her cooking ability was always underestimated because she was so pretty. Boastful? Natasha? Never! And she definitely didn’t score any brownie points by reducing contestant Beth Kirby to tears.
Thankfully Luca’s gamble paid off and as doubtful as the judges were initially, they LOVED his dishes including the ambitious basil panna cotta with tomato jam. Not something I would have chosen for dessert but according to the judges, it worked spectacularly. A lot of Luca-haters have stated that Natasha was robbed of the title as she was the far superior and consistent cook and that Luca only won because he was a man, and for the first time in the show’s history it was important for a male contestant to win the title. Even when Natasha’s unpopularity was pointed out, her supporters have stated that this is a cooking competition and not a contest based on personality. This is fair enough but it’s important to remember that the winner will go on to great success including their own cookbook and potentially starting up their own restaurant. Would I want to eat at the restaurant of or buy a cookbook from some who does not come across well as a likeable person? No, I wouldn’t – and I don’t think many others would either.
So Mastechef is over for another season and we’ll have to wait another year to see more culinary magic. Congrats to Luca. A very worthy winner who I hope goes on to great things. Proof that sometimes the nice guy does indeed win.
Roll on 2014. We can’t wait for season 5!
My husband and I pretty much gave up on television a while back. No matter how many channels there were, there still didn’t seem to be anything worth watching. But there are still some shows we make time to watch religiously. At a risk of sounding like a couple of oldies who have nothing better to do, Mr. D. and I are addicted to culinary competitions which seem to be all the rage on television these days: Come Dine With Me, The Great British Bake Off, Masterchef, Next Great Baker… you name it, we watch it! In fact it’s more than watching it’s become a full scale obsession. We must tune in to see what happens next: who stays… and who goes. Oops! That’s Big Brother which we don’t watch!
We have a lot of fun watching these shows. They’re entertaining and informative but they can also be quite depressing. Why? Because after years of thinking that I’m a pretty good cook (I’m no Heston but I’m not bad either) I’ve suddenly realised that compared to the contestants who take part in these shows, my cooking skills leave a lot to be desired. I’ve come to this conclusion after realizing that:
- My pastry making skills are far from perfect (as explained by Mr. Hollywood and Ms. Berry.)
- I have no idea how to make sushi – even though I love to eat it!
- There is a tendancy for me to overcook food (as pointed out by Mr. D!)
- I can really only bake cakes when I have a little help from my friend Betty Crocker.
- Rare, medium rare, medium, well done… it’s all the same to me!
- I’ve lost the ability to poach a decent egg.
- I’ve never heard of half of the ingredients mentioned in the show.
- There is no way I can chop onions, apples, carrots etc. so that all the pieces are virtually identical.
- I have no idea how to debone a duck.
- There’s very little chance of me being able to adequately filet a fish.
- I don’t have the kind of palette where I can successfully identify every ingredient in a dish.
- It’s really not a good idea for me to attempt to flambé anything…
- Me and sharp knives are a dangerous combination so it’s really not a good idea for me to go at the speed of the professional chefs or the other contestants.
- I like to take my time in the kitchen – that probably explains why we never eat before 10pm.
- I probably don’t add as much seasoning as I should.
- I love eating shellfish – but haven’t got a clue how to prepare it.
- This may be an Anglo-Italian household but there is no freshly made pasta in this house as neither of us know how to prepare it!
- If I cook fish so that the skin is super crispy, it’ll be burnt.
- We like to drench our food in sauce – none of this ‘little smidgeon’ business.
- We also like large portions in this house!
- I haven’t got a clue how to make ketchup or barbeque sauce from scratch.
- I’ve never used most of the gadgets and kitchen appliances I’ve seen.
However, it’s not all doom and gloom. We’ve learnt a lot from watching these shows and have got lots of new ideas. We like to put what we’ve learnt into practice:
- I can make bruschetta better than I did before.
- I now know what goes into making honeycomb.
- I know how to remove bones from fish easily.
- I know the secret to a good pesto sauce.
- Seasoning is important!
- So is not overcooking food!
- Garnishes are important but there should also have a purpose other than just decoration.
- We come across lots of new flavour combinations.
- I know that you should never wash sea urchin (not that I’m likely to cook it!)
- we’re trying to put into practice that less is more!
- I know what’s meant by tunnel boning.
- I also know what a ballotine is.
- I know how to pronounce words such as ‘coulis’ and ‘melange’.
- I see the contestants mistakes and know what NOT to do.
I still have an awful lot to learn and I’m getting there slowly. There’s still hope for me. But I know that no matter how much I learn, I would never want a dressing down from Mr. Hollywood or Mr. Ramsay so there’s no chance of me ever entering one of these competitions. I know which side of the television screen is the safest for all concerned!