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What A Girl Wants… Never Goes Out Of Style!

 

 

As everyone knows, things go in and out of fashion and trends change whether it’s clothes, shoes, hair, or make-up. But there are some things that have never changed and probably never will, and will always be a mainstay in a girl’s wardrobe and handbag. So let’s take a look at some of the things that a girl can’t live without regardless of changing trends.

1. THE LITTLE BLACK DRESS

Black will always be the new black and nothing screams glamour and sophistication quite like the Little Black Dress. A little black dress or LBD is traditionally  an evening or cocktail dress, which is usually cut simply and often quite short – hence the ‘little’.

The origins of the little black dress are linked back to the 1920s designs of the legendary Coco Chanel. The dress was intended to be simple but stylish, long-lasting, versatile, affordable, and neutral in colour. No lady’s wardrobe is complete without the “little black dress” and it is considered  a rule of fashion that every woman should own a simple, versatile, elegant black dress that can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion. Every girl has at least one trusty black dress in her wardrobe which she can slip into and it’s our go-to dress when the occasion calls for it – which saves a lot of faffing around, deciding what to wear. My own fave LBD has tiny white polka dots, spaghetti straps, a (very short) scalloped hem, and ruching along the front. It’s great for a party, informal dinner, and I can dress it up with boots and a leather jacket for gigs. It’s also short enough to pass as a top so I can team it up with jeans or leggings. Not only do I feel great in it but it’s also very versatile.

Although the original LBD was intended to be simple, these days anything goes, and as party season approaches, you can bet your life you’ll see a stunning array of black dresses in different fabrics with various necklines, hemlines, sleeves and embellishments. With so many different styles, the little black dress can never be boring or outdated. And with so many styles available, there’s always an excuse to add another one to our collection!

2. JEANS

Skinny, Bootcut, Hipster, Flare, Straight Leg and Boyfriend… whichever cut, wash and colour you choose, jeans are a wardrobe necessity. The styles of jeans may have changed over the years but those faithful denim trousers have always been a part of our wardrobes. With the exception of my mother, I really don’t know anyone who doesn’t own a pair of jeans. I practically live in mine and I’ve lost count of the amount I have. Right now skinnies are in, so I have loads of those in black, charcoal and various shades of blue. But I do have some boot-cut ones too and loved that particular style – until I discovered skinny jeans!

During the tomboy years, I used to wear my jeans  big and baggy to the point where they were practically falling off me before graduating to a more straight-leg style. A few years back there was a trend for teaming jeans  with short floaty dresses. I was surprised that I could pull off that look and thought I looked great – though my brother told me that he thought I just looked confused! But then, what does he know about fashion?

One thing I love about jeans is that with the exception of formal events, you can wear jeans just about everywhere. I always go to work in jeans and wear them on nights out. It might look as though I don’t wear anything else but I always feel my best in a pair of jeans. However, I’ve never particularly cared for white or coloured jeans. Give me a pair of blue or black any day!

3. CHANEL No. 5

I’ve heard that giving someone a bottle of Chanel No.5 is the equivalent of giving a bouquet of flowers. Well in that case – as much as I love flowers – give me a Chanel No.5 every time! This fragrance is a timeless classic launched by Coco Chanel (who else!) and a bottle of this perfume has adorned the dressing tables of women around the world for decades. The key flowers are ylang-ylang, mayrose and jasmine.

 I’ll never forget being given my first bottle of Chanel No.5 when I was in my early twenties. I suddenly knew what all the fuss was about. It was like glamour in a very sophisticated, sleek bottle. No wonder it was all Marilyn Monroe wore to bed. It’s not really one for those who like subtle fragrances. This one is bold and really makes an impact. I know some people have criticised it for being old-fashioned and ‘an old lady’s perfume’ but I reckon these are people with a very poor sense of smell! This fragrance is a classic and continues to be a firm favourite with women all over the world – regardless of their age.

4. SCARLET LIPS AND NAILS

Gwyneth Paltrow’s secret to being super-confident is wearing a lipstick in a ‘kick-ass red.’ Red is a colour that never seems to date, and although lip and nail colours may change in terms of what’s hot and what’s not, red has always been the number one colour for those who wish to make a statement. Bold and attention-grabbing, it’s synonymous with power, seduction and glamour. It’s not a colour you wear if all you want to do is blend into the background. Not all of us can wear the bright fire-engine red – definitely not a colour for me – but thankfully with so many shades available, we can all find a red lippy and nail colour that suits us and to release our inner-vamp.

 

5. BACKCOMBED HAIR

I love wearing my hair like this, and Mr.D thinks it’s awesome too. It’s a look that was made famous by The Ronettes and Brigitte Bardot and was very popular during the 1960s. It even became Claudia Schiffer’s signature look during her modelling heyday, and of course it’s synonymous with Amy Winehouse.

Whether hair’s backcombed into a beehive do or a tousled mane, us girls know that when we need an instant dose of glamour, backcombing is the only way to go. It’s a great look for a night out but I’ve seen women rocking backcombed hair while wheeling a trolley around a supermarket during the day – and it works! Backcombing also instantly gives the appearance of thicker, fuller hair but unfortunately it can be quite damaging especially if you backcomb hair regularly, so it’s probably best saved for special occasions.

 

6. VASELINE

You could honestly write a book about the million and one uses of Vaseline – or petroleum jelly to use it’s non-brand name! It can be used to soften lips, moisten dry knees and elbows, condition eyelashes, slick eyebrows into shape, add a shimmer to cheek bones, put around nails when painting them… I’ve even come across one beauty tip which instructs putting Vaseline on teeth before drinking coffee in order to avoid staining. Er, yeah, I think I’ll be giving that one a miss thanks. But with so many uses, is it any surprise that women the world over have a little tub of this wonder product in their handbags?

 

7. HEELS

Despite the fact that I’m a bit of a shorty, I definitely feel more comfy in a pair of flats so tend to wear them every day. However, comfort counts for nothing when it comes to dressing up to the nines when only a pair of heels will do – the higher the better. Not only does it look better with the outfit you’re wearing, but it makes you feel more confident, foxy and glam. So whether they’re dainty little kitten heels or skyscraper stilettos, us girls definitely have a collection of heels to rock any outfit. True, I can’t walk in a pair of heels to save my life but as a friend once said, trainers are for walking in and heels are for posing in. Couldn’t have said it better myself!

 

8. SMOKEY EYES

Where make-up is concerned, trends seem to veer towards a more natural look with lots of ‘nude’ shades. However, full-on smokey, vampy eyes will never go out of style no matter what the in-thing may be. Like the LBD, smokey eyes are timelessly sultry, It’s also right up there with the red-hot lips – but of course we all know the eyes or lips rule so would never wear them both at the same time. Smokey eyes are perfect for when you need a little sophisticated drama. I remember that a few years ago when I was getting my acting headshots done, the make-up artist gave me the most amazing smokey eyes. She did such an amazing job that even strangers stopped me on the street to comment on my eyes. To this day, I am kicking myself for not getting her card.

 

9. BALLET STYLE PUMPS

Ballet pump style flat shoes are what I live in during the summer months. They’re more forgiving than sandals and I find them easier to walk in than flip flops. I also think they’re really sweet looking and you can wear these ballet type shoes with most styles of clothes. These shoes are literally everywhere and they come in an array of styles. You can get very simple designs for everyday use and more glitzy, glam ones for more special occasions. I’m not surprised that they’re such a hit with women everywhere because they are a practical solution to footwear and can be worn both day or night. I’ve been known to carry a pair of these in my bag on nights out which is a very welcome relief to my poor, weary feet. Heels might make me feel sophisticated and womanly, but I feel super cute and girly in my ballet style pumps – so I definitely have the best of both worlds.

 

10. BLACK LEATHER

Black leather may be considered very 1980s, but it’s very edgy, practical and rock n’ roll. I really don’t think there’s anyone who doesn’t own something made from black leather, whether it’s a jacket, boots, shoes, trousers or even a wallet. It’s extremely durable and can be worn for both day and night. I absolutely love my boots and jacket, and they have often received admiring looks and comments. Even my old PE teacher who was veering towards vegetarianism last time I saw him, admitted to having a leather jacket because it was the only thing he had that kept him warm – and in London that’s essential! Of course, it’s all about the look, so for those who don’t wish to wear genuine leather for ethical reasons, can’t fork out the hefty price tag, or in my sister’s case, can’t stand the smell, there are some pretty good leather-look items out there.

Even though it’s unlikely that leather  will go out of fashion, it can look dated. So I never wear anything that’s covered in millions of studs – even though heavily studded leather jackets seem to be in all the shops at the moment – and as I’m not a biker or in a 1980s tribute rock band, there’s no need for me to wear head-to-toe leather. Instead  prefer to mix leather with other fabrics and styles for a unique look.

 

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So Much For Sisterhood!

 

I’m really appalled by Katie Hopkins’ latest round of controversial comments but I really don’t want to give too much attention to a woman who clearly gets paid to be so vile – and take pride in it too. Katie has been very open about her lack of remorse in taking her now husband away from his first wife. Everyone knows about Katie’s penchant for married men so this doesn’t come as a surprise. She’s clearly not someone who believes in women sticking together, and sadly there are other women out there who come from the school of thought that if you see something you want – take it. And they do take with very little regard as to who it belongs to or who gets hurt.
Naturally, as a happily married woman, this doesn’t sit well with me. Mr. D. is without a doubt a real catch; the best thing to happen to me. He’s as gorgeous on the inside as he is on the outside. It doesn’t surprise me that he catches the eye of other women. But I would hope that he’d tell her where to go. However, I would hope that a woman would have a strong sense of sisterhood to not even go there in the first place.

Sadly, there are plenty of women who don’t have this sense of solidarity  – and so would go there without a second thought.

 

No guilt…

Earlier this year, on a night out, I got acquainted with the friend of someone I know. Kerry* was hardly what you could call shy and retiring but even I was amazed by a later confession – probably fuelled by too much alcohol – in which we got talking about ex-boyfriends and she revealed that hers was already in a relationship when she met him.

“Oh my gosh,” I said, “he lied to you! So when did you find out about his girlfriend?”
“Er, when he asked me out,” she replied, clearly thinking I was an idiot.
“You went out with him even though you knew?” I asked incredulously.
“Yes!” Kerry replied, a little defensively, “his girlfriend and his relationship are his business. Nothing to do with me. I was the one who was single so I was free to do what I liked.”

 

Let’s just say we didn’t promise to add each other on Facebook at the end of the evening.

With friends like these…

Amanda* was a girl I knew from school. She was definitely not the kind of girl you wanted to mess with but one thing that did impress me about her was her strong sense of loyalty to her friends. And they did seem to be a pretty tight bunch of people. As someone not cool enough to make it into this elite ‘girl gang,’ I have to admit, I did feel a little envious of their close bond.

Fast forward six years and guess who runs off with her best friends husband? That’s right – Amanda! What was surprising was that many of Amanda’s friends – as shocked as they were by what had happened – stood by her. Amanda, herself, didn’t feel any remorse over what she had done, claiming that her friend Emily and husband Sean had had a very unhappy marriage and weren’t suited. She even claimed that Emily had even cheated on Sean once. It all worked out very well for Amanda as she is still with Sean and they now have two children together.

 

I actually bumped into Amanda several years after we had left school. By then she was expecting her second child – a daughter. It was a super quick catch up, in which she talked mostly about her children. She obviously wasn’t going to tell me about how she met her fella – and she didn’t know that I knew what had happened through mutual acquaintances.

Once again, there were no offers to keep in touch as I had no desire to keep in touch with anyone who treats their friends so shoddily. To sleep with a stranger’s husband or boyfriend is bad enough but when it’s the boyfriend of a friend or family member… it’s just not on.

Ruth* knows only too well the pain she felt when she realised that her husband, Simon*, was cheating on her with a woman she considered to be a friend, Erica*:

“I returned from a business trip and found things that things were not in it’s usual place or in the order they would normally be arranged. The biggest giveaway were the sheets being changed – something my ex-husband wouldn’t even know how to do. I asked a lot of questions but his answers were very vague and I instinctively knew that something wasn’t right.”

Eventually it was a local café owner who told Ruth what had really been going on:

“I mean we live in a town where pretty much everyone knows everyone. I can’t believe he was so stupid as to think he wouldn’t get caught. What I learned is that he had been seeing her for a while and that they had been seen out together. I now believe that whenever I was away working, he’d bring her over to the house. I didn’t know which was worse: the fact that everybody knew or the fact that he’d brought her into our home. It tore me apart that he cheated with a woman that I was quite friendly with. It was the ultimate betrayal.”

Ruth confronted her husband and her friend, before kicking her husband out. He then tried to work things out with Ruth but when it became clear that she wasn’t going to take him back, Simon then moved in with Erica and the two of them carried on their relationship for the next four years:

“I was never going to take him back. He’d destroyed my trust. There was no way our marriage could ever work. I was devastated though when he went to live with my former friend. Devastated but not surprised. However, what made it easier was knowing that he still loved me – if you could call it that – and that he was only with her because he was so needy and didn’t want to be on his own. Even our mutual friends agreed he’d be back tomorrow with his tail between his legs if I’d agree to have him back. Strange as this may sound even though I hated my ‘friend’ for pursuing my husband the way she did, I also felt sorry for her because it was so obvious she was second best.”

Ruth has since remarried and has very little contact with Simon – who is no longer with Erica.

“Thankfully they moved away shortly after they started living together which made things a lot easier for me. It took a while but I slowly picked myself up and moved on. I met Craig* about two years after my divorce. He restored my faith in men and relationships and we’ve been together for nearly nine years now. Simon even made an attempt for us to get back together just after I met Craig but obviously it never happened. By then, they’d broken up. I think she [Erica] was expecting Simon to propose after the divorce came through. It never happened and the relationship didn’t last long. I see Simon from time to time at weddings and other events. We are civil towards one another but I don’t know anything about his private life. As far as I know he’s not with anyone.”

I’m glad that Ruth got her happy ending and that Erica didn’t come out of this so well. I just hope she’s learnt her lesson and won’t hook up with a man who isn’t available ever again.

The same thing applies to men and ‘brotherhood’…

Sadly it’s not just women who have a lack of respect for relationship boundaries. Men can be just as bad too.

Gavin* has been with his wife Amy* for thirty years and married for just over twenty. The reason why it took so long for them to walk up the aisle is because Amy was already married with a young daughter when they met.

“It would sound odd to a lot of people but with Amy and me there was no sneaking around or hiding. Our relationship was common knowledge – even to her husband Rick*. Her husband had hoped that this would be something that would fizzle out and he was worried that if he’d pushed her into not seeing me again, she might leave him. As a result it just made me have absolutely no respect for him at all.”

Rick and Amy then went on to have a second daughter. Many people hoped that this would strengthen the bond between them and that she would stop seeing Gavin. But there was a twist in store…

“We all limped along for another six months after Lilly* was born, but the truth eventually came out: Lilly was my daughter – not Rick’s. Rick already suspected it so the news wasn’t that much of a shock. It was the end for Rick and Amy after that as he knew that I just wasn’t  going to go away. Amy moved in with me and we got married about a year after her divorce came through and we’ve been together ever since. People used to ask me if I was worried about Amy doing to me what she did to Rick but the honest truth is I don’t. They weren’t compatible and the truth of the matter is that if it wasn’t me, it would have been someone else. Amy and I love each other even after all these years – we were meant to be.”

However for those of you who think that Gavin sounds a little too much like the cat who got the cream, it may be a comfort for you to know that it hasn’t been all plain sailing…

“Amy and Rick had a daughter, Rosie*, so naturally Rick was always going to be around as he had to play a part in his daughter’s life. Despite everything and how I felt about him, I was never going to take his daughter away from him – even though I love Rosie as though she’s my own. The three of us decided to behave as adults and put her first. This has meant that Rick’s been present at every sports day, school play and presentation evening. And it’s always Amy and him who went to Rosie’s parent’s evenings. At Rosie’s wedding, he obviously was the one who walked her down the aisle which I accepted; there isn’t much of a role for stepfather’s at weddings even though I helped raise her too. When the kids were young, we used to have him over for Christmas as Amy felt it was best for Rosie. And now that there are grandchildren, we still occasionally have to have Rick – along with his second wife Beth* – over for Christmas dinner. We’ve all learnt to be civil even though we’ll never be great mates but I’d be lying if I said I miss not having Rick over for Christmas. It’s not ideal but what can you do?”

I’m sure there are plenty who don’t feel any sympathy for Gavin – and who can blame them?

I remember a conversation at secondary school, in which I asked a friend if she thought it was OK to go out with a boy who was already seeing someone else.

“No”, she replied quite matter of fact.
“Why not?” I asked.
“Because I would hate it if I had a boyfriend who did something like that to me,” she answered,”so I couldn’t possibly do that to someone else.”

Wise words from someone who wasn’t even sixteen at the time. Too bad people twice that age don’t take that advice. The world might be a happier place with less heartbroken people.

* Names have been changed

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